The Diary
by MistressofthePen1987
Summary: A lost fic of mine. Kagome stumbles upon a diary that Kikyo wrote before she died, as Kagome reads on, she realizes that the "text book" romance Kikyo and Inuyasha had was not all it's cracked up to be. Rated M for content. ONESHOT


Ah! I found this story when I was clearing out my computer. I wrote it back in high school, I thought I lost it! Well it's found and I wanted to present it, tell my what you think and keep in mind I was 16 when I wrote it.

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The Diary:

Kaede at the ripe old age of 62 was dead. The villagers thought a demon came in the night and snatched her soul away; Kagome felt that it might have been a stroke. Kaede hadn't looked very well the past few days; she may have already suffered a mild one (the left side of her face drooped a little towards the end). Either way, the air of the village was one of sorrow and reverence. Kagome had already taken Kaede's ashes and placed them in a small shrine adjacent to Kikyo's reconstructed one, Kaede's last wishes were to be lain next to her sister. She looked up at Inuyasha, who stood next to her, silent, "I can't believe she's gone," she said, wiping at her red eyes. Inuyasha, in his infinite genius could have been supportive, could have been stoic, but again, in his infinite genius just scoffed, "I can, that witch was older than sin,"

Kagome rolled her eyes, she'd have "sit" him if they weren't on sacred ground, instead she just called him an idiot. She rose to her feet and sighed, Kaede had become like a grandmother to her, her mentor, caretaker, friend, Kagome never really knew her own grandmother, who passed away before she was born, she would miss Kaede dearly. "Are we done here?" the hanyou barked, they'd already spent a week at the village- precious time that could have been used to track Naraku down. Now that the old hag was dead, there wasn't much reason in his eyes for them to stay. The teenaged miko had just about enough of his whining, and was never the person to be rude or spiteful, but Inuyasha bitched at her death bed, bitched at the funeral, and was still bitching at her grave site, "You know what, Inuyasha? If this was Kikyo you'd want to stay twice as long," she countered, the hanyou whirled around, yellow eyes narrowed at his offender, "What did you say?" he commanded. Kagome just snorted and turned away from him, "Nothing, I'm not talking to you anymore," she walked off towards the village. Angry, Inuyasha pursued her, "No! What did you mean by that?!" he shouted, Kagome kept walking, when she was sure they were out of the grounds, she turned, "Inuyasha, SIT!"

She watched him struggle to remain standing before the enchanted beads around his neck tugged him to the ground like a misbehaving puppy. His face planted in the dirt with a sickening thud. Kagome coughed as the disturbed dirt cleared, then smiled, "Thank you for letting me grieve," she bowed sweetly, then turned and headed back towards Kaede's hut.

Shippo ran to Inuyasha's side, seemingly to help his fallen comrade, but as soon as Inuyasha sat up, he slapped him upside the head, "What an idiot," he said coolly, the hanyou swiped at the pesky youkai, but missed. He then looked in Kagome's direction, he could smell her tears, he hated making her cry, but the stubborn side of him, (which took up about 90% of his personality) would rather die than apologize, Shippo just sighed, "Why do you like screwing up?"

Tears of a jilted heart danced along the soft contours of her face, Inuyasha didn't admit it and for that, the silly part of her heart remained hopeful, but the fact that he didn't exactly deny it either made the hopefulness short lived. What was so hard for him? Why was choosing between the two of them rocket science? Even if he loved them both, he had to love one more than the other. If it was Kikyo, then fine, take her, leave! She just wished he'd stop tugging her emotions along on a string.

'That goes both ways, Kagome, nobody's making you wait for him.' She sighed inwardly, why was she even waiting on that boy? Maybe his indecisiveness was his way of telling her he didn't love either at all. No, no even if he didn't love Kagome, he loved Kikyo, that much was for sure, and she loved him; a pure love torn apart by an evil hand, it was a textbook romance, something not even she could change.

The miko entered the hut of her late friend, no one was in there, the bed had already been remade, flower petals scattered on the cloth sheets of the futon. The fire in the center of the room had died out, leaving the room dim in the setting sun. Kagome lit a lantern that was hanging in a corner and looked around, the left wall was covered by a large shelf, and each shelf was filled to bursting with scrolls. Kagome made her way to the shelf and pulled one of the scrolls out:

_Three kitten tail tips_

_Four robin's eggs_

_The shell of a turtle no older than 40 seasons_

_Graveyard dirt dug up when the wind is blowing eastward_

'Kaede's spell scrolls,' Kagome's eyes widened as she read the various herbal mixtures and incantations that Kaede had collected over her lifetime, from simple tricks of warding off weak youkai to potions that would stall death if used correctly, Kaede had shown her some of the simpler books, however Kagome would have never guessed that spells as powerful as the ones she was reading had ever even existed. She sifted through the scrolls, pulling the ones she felt could assist her on their journey, first aid spells, things that would increase Kagome's power reading them thoroughly as she went.

Kagome was almost done when one particular scroll caught her eye, a small one, stuffed far into the bottommost, leftmost shelf, unlike the other's, this scroll was encased in red marble with gold dragons on either side. Kagome kneeled and pulled at it, the scroll gave a little fight, before loosening and falling into her hands. There was a different energy that encompassed this scroll, stronger, darker. Kagome looked around before opening it, the hiragana was written in precise, strong stokes, someone who wrote in this was a perfectionist, and as she read it Kagome couldn't help but notice the handwriting was eerily similar to her own.

"No way…" she whispered, this scroll couldn't be, wouldn't be…

She read on:

_One Moonlight Flower_

_Tree handfuls of Sakura Blossoms_

_A root of the Ginko tree as big as your hand_

_Bone of a monkey demon_

_Crush the Sakura Blossoms in a circle starting from the left until it is a paste, burn it and take the ashes. Mix them with the gingko root, crushing it into a fine powder, from there you must pick a moonlight flower on the night of a full moon, lest the energy be compromised, melt the bone of the monkey demon, it is hard, but light and mix in the sakura/ginko powder, allow to cool a bit, then fashion into an arrow, take the moonlight flower and tie it to the arrow, leave for 3 days, the flower will draw away any impure spirits the bone may have. I have been mixing various items in an attempt to fashion an arrow that eradicates demons, but if misfired or stolen will not harm a human. I have done this and am thus far right in my mixtures; I will attempt to try it tonight._

It was Kikyo's, Kagome had stumbled upon one of her former self's potion book, she could help but smile at how scientific her writing style was, she could imagine Kikyo in a white lab coat, maybe that's what she could have been classified as in the Feudal Era.

Only it was far more than a simple potion scroll.

_I have found it, the perfect specimen to test my arrows on. A demon whose been skulking around here attempting various times to take the Shikkon no Tama, he has had a high resilience to my arrows in the past, I do not know why, I will study more into this._

Kagome read that paragraph over and over, realizing more and more what she had come across. She threw the scroll down and backed away from it, her heart was racing in her chest, 'This scroll…this scroll is documentation of Kikyo's last days, from her eyes! Kagome debated for a moment if she should continue reading; maybe she should give it to Inuyasha, she looked out the window at where he was, no one. Sighing, she leaned back and continued to read:

_A week of rigorous testing has gone by, the demon is still alive though he is not spared of the side effects, burns where the arrow grazed him have yet to heal and one eye is still blind; I've nearly perfected the monkey bone arrow. Something was funny, however, as I had him pinned to the tree; the demon asked me today why I had not killed him yet. His eyes were searching me for answers. Had I not known better I'd think he wondered if I was apprehensive for an emotional reason, and that the reason I hadn't killed him was because I couldn't. Is he in love with me? Poor fool, I care not for him or his well being, he is simply a good target. My interests are in the side effects and it would be wasteful to kill him, I think I shall add shiitake mushrooms to the mix._

"That's pretty cruel, Kikyo," Kagome muttered, sadness filled her heart at the end of the paragraph; the non-chalant way she regarded Inuyasha, already the story wasn't turning out to be what she thought, Kagome remembered being told that Kikyo would pin Inuyasha to the trees, but she had always thought it was because she liked him that she didn't go through with it. Still, it could have just been that Kikyo didn't care for him at first, and so she continued:

_I found out today why the demon, now known as Inuyasha holds a high resilience to my arrows, he is no demon, but a hanyou, a ningen onna mated with a youkai otou and he was the result, the arrows are bound to kill his youkai side, but cannot hurt his ningen side, very interesting._

_Tonight is the night of the new moon, everything will be bathed in darkness a perfect time to execute a sneak attack on the hanyou, the mushrooms have given the arrows a power to be reckoned with, the hanyou will probably not survive this attack, tomorrow I shall find a new specimen._

_The attack was a failure. I sat with knees to my chest for hours, the wasted arrows trembling in my hands, my heart is pounding in my chest, was it a trick of the light? Perhaps he sensed me coming and what I saw was just some youkai trickery. The hanyou was totally and completely ningen, white hair was transformed to locks as black as the night sky, those blazing yellow eyes were soft and brown, fangs and claws had been replaced and the dog ears were now human ears, he was- Buddah cut my tongue from my mouth- beautiful. I cannot allow a foolish heart to blind me, I'll seek council tomorrow._

Kagome looked up from the scroll, wishing with all her heart that she didn't read what she just did, a big boundary had been overstepped just now, she had a feeling Kikyo was in love with the human side, Kagome too had started falling in love with him in his human form, but it was more that in that vulnerable state, he confided in her for the first time, she still loved and preferred him just the way he was. Kikyo was in love with the human side, and only the human side, that's why she wanted to change him so badly, 'So what Kagome, you bring this to his attention and what? Come up smelling like roses? You want him to love you because he loves you, not because you're better than Kikyo,' She read on:

_I sought advice from Kaede, the village elder, and I have received some interesting news. A hanyou has a period in which they loose their youkai powers, the are weak and vulnerable what I saw was no trick of the light, no youkai illusion, it was Inuyasha, the ningen. I do not understand this feeling in my heart, I want to see him, not for experimental reasons, I just wish to see those warm brown eyes again._

_He is back to his old self, that blasted hanyou, I have learned that the period of weakness is dictated by the moon a hanyou is born under, and lasts only as long as the night allows it, I will have to wait until the next new moon to see him again, until then, I will keep the hanyou by my side._

_He is wary of me, for good reasons I am after all a deadly miko, and one who has on many different occasions tried to rid the world of him, still he sat there and listened as I spoke off silly nonsensical topics, he is not as stupid as I first thought him to be, he wishes to use the Shikkon No Tama to become a full fledged youkai, I'll not stand by and allow that, still I'll allow him to dream, so long as his ningen side is near me._

_Time has ebbed away the tenseness that existed between he and I, he wanted to spend the day together, I refused, but offered him the night, it is after all a new moon, he does not know that I know, I'll act surprised but warmly welcome him, I need to win him over._

"That little-!" Kagome stopped herself, she never thought she was this vindictive in her past life; still she couldn't help but note that this spell book was looking less like a book and more like a diary, Kikyo's diary.

_Unfinished scrolls lay on the floor, the arrows that were once my world are now cast aside by the fireplace. I can think of nothing but what lays in my hand. What is the Shikkon no Tama? A powerful jewel that grants it's holder one wish, after which it relocates. Midoriko, a powerful priestess gave birth to the jewel, I remember hearing it used to be 100 times bigger than the size it is now, but malice has tainted the jewel, eroding it to its punitive state, how sad. Still, I find myself wondering more and more what it would be like, maybe, just maybe if I can convince him to rid himself of his youkai blood and become a ningen, if he will, if he does, I shall give up my post as the miko of this village, I know news that will not come welcomed, and flee with him._

Kagome shook her head, 'But if he hadn't, Kikyo? What would you have done then?' I didn't take Kagome long to realize who the next paragraph was about.

_I found him on the river bank, face down in the mud, covered in a scorched, straw casing of some sort, his body burnt beyond recognition. Fingers, toes, his nose all lost to the flames. I thought it was body recovery, something I would have left to the villagers to do, but to my horror, this corpse was still alive. I have taken him to the Sakura cave, a hidden place to all on the north side of the village, not even Inuyasha knows of this place. I have bandaged him and nurse him, but the outcome is not good, I do not expect to see a living person when I return to the cave tomorrow._

Kagome didn't understand that part, why not let Inuyasha know of this place? 'Probably because he'd end up doing a mercy kill,' she concluded, if only they knew what keeping this person alive would do to them, 'but then you wouldn't have come to this era,' the fact that they only way she could be here was for something so horrible and morbid to happen sat wrong in Kagome's stomach, she adjusted herself a little before resuming:

_He is still alive, but barely; labored breathing is all I have to go on._

_A week has surprised me, mainly because he has survived it. The man inches from death when I found him has for whatever reason held on to the shred of life keeping him on this realm. He opened his eyes as I was changing his bandages today, odd eyes, almost like a spider has spun a web on them. A voice followed those eyes, "Where am I?" he asked me, such an interesting voice he had, dark and deep, almost sensuous, I should not say that, but it was not one that I would have matched to this person, I told him about where I found him and how I brought him here to die in peace, he did not seem offended by it; going as far as to complement the cave as a dying place. The man, whom I've come to learn is named Onigumo is unable to remember anything about how he came to be in that state. We spoke for a while until fatigue overcame him and sent him off to sleep._

Onigumo sleep? The thought of Naraku being or doing anything remotely human sent a chill of disgust down Kagome's back. Sango ducked in briefly to tell Kagome dinner was almost ready, "Where's Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, Sango smiled a tired smile, "Pouting, as always, what did he do anyway?" Kagome shook her head, "Just being his usual stupid self," The slayer laughed and reminded Kagome once more before going back to the food. Kagome nodded and waited for Sango to leave before pulling the scroll back out:

_He speaks with such conviction, though I cannot hide my disappointment that it is one for malice. Darkness envelopes him in ways full fledged demons could only wish, who was this man before he became an invalid, a bandit leader? Or perhaps something worse? I know I should stay away from him, leave him to die, maybe even kill him myself, but the words we share, the thoughts, the debates, I find them no less that utterly addicting. This man is, for lack of a better term, my intellectual match, a dark part of me heart thinks more. _

Kagome nearly fell over, Naraku? Kikyo thought Naraku was her match?! It was too well known that Onigumo loved Kikyo, but the thought of those feelings being returned, what was worse was that Kikyo made it apparent she knew of Naraku's intentions (the fact that he was evil anyway) and not only did nothing about it, but found him utterly interesting! The chill had become too much and she decided to take the scroll and go out, the things she read weighed heavily on her mind. The others were already eating- even Inuyasha, Sango served some soup to Kagome, who barely realized she was hungry. She sat down opposite Inuyasha, it wasn't that she didn't want to sit next to him, she didn't want him reading over her shoulder, by this time she could guess he smelled Kikyo's scent on the scroll, and he did, "What's that?" he asked, mouth full of noodles. Kagome looked down at the scroll, "Oh, just one of Kikyo's potion scrolls," she admitted, making sure not to mention diary, "I found it amongst Kaede's scrolls, it's got some interesting herb mixtures in it, healing concoctions and such," she tried to sound as boring as possible, Inuyasha bought it and leaned back against the trees, his eyes remained on her though, the fight they had still on his mind. Kagome knew he was going to confront her later, in private, she herself propped herself up against her overstuffed backpack and started reading again:

_What is this yearning, this primal desire devoid of any and all emotions? For the most part, Onigumo disgusts me, his body, his mind, and his heart are all things I wish to burn from existence, but I cannot, nor do I wish to stay away from him. I fear this time spent together is breeding something dark, but a wild curiosity wishes to see what. With much regret I will not visit him tomorrow, Inuyasha is returning and will finally give me his answer._

Kagome kept her eyes from widening, Kikyo did know it, and welcomed the danger, it was the classic good girl falling for the bad boy ordeal, add in a love/hate relationship and you have the formula for a bad ending, Kagome knew the worst was to come_._

_He's agreed to become human, relinquish the dream of become a demon, for me. I am very much like the love sick teenager I should have been all along, I will finally have my ningen, the perfect boy for me. I cannot wait to hold him, in his true ningen form, to feel my hands in those long black tresses, to gaze in those beautiful brown eyes whenever I want without the fear of the impending sunrise that would take him away from me and lock my love in a form most revolting. On the next full moon, we'll meet in the south field._

Kagome couldn't believe her eyes, Kikyo really did only want the human side of Inuyasha! 'I don't get it, though, she says she loved Inuyasha, but she wants Onigumo,' Kagome shook her head, it was all too apparent that Inuyasha wasn't the only one in a love triangle, only Kikyo's was far more morbid and adult. Kagome chanced a glance at Inuyasha, he was asleep, 'Her heart didn't belong to just you, Inuyasha,' she said, the hanyou stirred. Kagome looked down quickly:

_I dreamt of him last night, not Inuyasha, but Onigumo. Though I was asleep, I could tell it was different, dreams regarding Inuyasha are light, simple, and pure, this one was darker. I stood in a field, alone, the sky was dark and cloudy, the grass flew wildly around me, animated by a cold wind. He called my name, that deep voice dripping with lust and evil, when I turned I saw him, he was still covered in bandages, but he had a kimono on. I thought to run, but didn't, I wanted to see what he had to tell me. Onigumo reached up and slowly removed the bandages, as he did, I could see his skin restoring to its healthy state. Maybe it is wishful thinking, the way I saw him, maybe it was my psychic energy tapping into his memories, but he was far more handsome that I had ever thought. Dark, wild locks fell about his shoulders, red eyes pierced my very soul, lips had me entertaining thoughts that should send me to hell. He approached me, again I didn't want to walk away, to where his body was inches from mine, "I will become this, for you, for my match," I didn't understand his words, but didn't care. _

It was a psychic moment, he was showing her what he was to become. Kagome hated to admit it, but she was starting to see where the attraction was coming from, he was dangerous, Kikyo lived a pious life, a sheltered life, the moment something new, something different came along, it was only natural she would idolize it, 'It doesn't condone her feelings being limited to Inuyasha's human side'. Kagome thought. She kept on:

_His hand touched the side of my face sending chills of electricity up my spine, the primal desire was radiating through my body. I wanted him, desperately. I said nothing as he leaned down to steal a kiss, though I should have, they were Inuyasha's lips, for him alone to kiss, I remembered him, even though I was dreaming, but didn't think of it enough to stop. His mouth was soft against mine, but it didn't take long for him to deepen it in a way that screamed "I covet you". I knew I shouldn't have done that, I knew my body was supposed to be saved for another- so many times have I heard the term "my heart was screaming for me to stop" but it fell silent, only raced at the excitement of the moment, and I still let him touch me. I let him remove my clothing, as I did to him. His chest was so warm, so fit, I can remember perfectly the feel of his stomach flexing under my fingertips, the goose bumps that covered my bare body as I was looked upon for the first time by a man with intent of possessing me. The grass on my back was soft as he laid me down, his fingers made a trail as they traced from my forehead, across my nose, stopping at my lips for a kiss, then trailing down my neck, breasts, stomach. He kept those crimson eyes on me, as though he were keeping me in a trance as the fingers that touched every part of my body slipped between the folds of the one place he neglected. "Swollen with desire," I heard him murmured with a grin, I could barely register anything he was saying, his fingers were violating the deepest, innermost parts of my being, teasing me, tantalizing me. I moaned, causing his eyes to widen with lust, from underneath his haori, I could see his hardness grow and continued to moan, for him, for his pleasure. I did wonder if this is what it would be like when my time came with Inuyasha, but all thoughts were interrupted as my body tightened, I arched by back and screamed Onigumo's name into the night. He kissed me again, removing the last shred of clothing and looked at me, the frightened maiden in me thought he looked so large, so dangerous towering over me. I could see his shaft, the first time I had ever seen a man's before; would Inuyasha know I wasn't pure? Of course not, this was a dream, when I awoke, I would still be chaste, I would still the fair maiden he's known. Onigumo slipped a knee between mine to open me up, then positioned himself between my legs, as I write my hand trembles with the virginal excitement and fear, would it hurt? Dreams don't hurt, but thus far everything felt so real. He kissed me once more, before slowly thrusting the full length of himself into me, it ended up hurting. I screamed from the initial shock and pleaded for him to get out, but he just slipped a hand underneath my back, lifting me up on his lap and whispered to me, "It won't hurt for too long," He resumed thrusting, sure enough the pain subsided and all I could feel was him pulsating from within me. I kissed him, long and hard, my whole body wanting to consume him, he shifted and increased his pace, I remember my head going back, moans of sinful pleasure emanating from my mouth, he leaned forward and began to suck on my breasts, I was giving in and it felt wonderful. He laid me back down and shifted my hips once again, going even deeper, I screamed as my body created emotions I had never felt before. Somewhere in my stupor I wrapped my legs around his torso, screaming for him to go deeper, he gratefully complied, slowing down, speeding up, torturing me, pleasuring me, my arms found his neck and my lips found his, he moaned into my mouth, "Tell me you love me," he said, I didn't hear him and asked him to repeat himself, as he kissed my neck and continued thrusting, he did, "Tell me you love me." _

_Did I love him? Did my heart yearn for him the way it did for Inuyasha? I wanted him that was for sure, but was want and love the same thing? I was not sure, but answered as he brought his hips forwards once more, releasing himself deep within me, "I love you," _

"Kagome, are you all right?" Kagome looked up to see Sango staring at her, Inuyasha had woken up as did Miroku, the teenaged miko's face was a bright red, her hands were clutching on to the scroll for dear life. Her brain creased function for a moment or two, "ah...e….um…" Inuyasha rose and made his way to Kagome, "What are you reading?" he asked, Kagome panicked, "NOTHING!" she shouted, that's how Inuyasha was sure it was something, "Let me see!" he demanded and reached for the scroll, Kagome did the only thing she could think of, "SIT!"

As Inuyasha went down, Kagome sprang to her feet and ran off; there was no way in hell that she could let him read that. Kikyo had a wet dream about someone other than him, not only that, but someone Inuyasha hated! She had to get rid of it somehow.

She ran until she was too tired to keep on and passed out beneath a tree, her chest felt like it was going to explode from lack of oxygen, "Stupid…!" she brought her knees to her chest and began to cry, this wasn't fair. Why did she have to carry such a burden?

'Does that mean I've resolved to keep it a secret?' she wondered. The information weighed heavily in her mind, on one side Inuyasha deserved to know the truth, but on the other side it would crush him to know how Kikyo really felt about Onigumo. She threw the scroll aside, "WHY DID I EVER READ THIS STUPID THING!?!?" she screamed, the scroll spun on the grass before resting, she sobbed a little more before angrily wiping her eyes, 'I'm just going to leave it up to fate, if he finds it he finds it, if he doesn't, he doesn't,' still she reached over and brought it back to her, there was still the end she had to read:

_I'm scared, I don't want to see Inuyasha right now. Will he know? Am I just being paranoid? Perhaps Onigumo was speaking of something else. My hand still feels hot from where he grabbed it. _

_Onigumo, the invalid that invaded my dreams last night moved today. His eyes followed me the way they tend to do, and as I rose to leave he reached out and grabbed my hand, "Mikos seldom dream," was all he said, I was too terrified to ask him what he meant and simply left, what have I done?_

"Kagome!" the miko looked up in horror and Inuyasha shot forwards and pulled the scroll from her hand. She jumped at it, but the hanyou kept it out of her reach, instead he pulled her to the ground and straddled her, "Sit me and you'll regret it," he warned, Kagome wriggled from underneath him, he pinned her legs under his thighs as well, "Inuyasha no!" she pleaded, "Please! Please don't read it!" she kicked her legs in an attempt to free herself, he didn't look at the scroll yet, instead he was focused on her red eyes, "Hey, why are you crying?" he asked, Kagome gasped, then turned away, "N-no reason," she said.

Inuyasha leaned forward, "What it this scroll?" he asked pointing at the object in his hands, "Why don't you want me to see it?" he asked. Kagome shook her head, "I can't tell you," she said, Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm going to read it, so you might as well tell me," he ordered. Kagome felt his grip lighten and in an act of desperation popped one of her thumbs upward and into the center of Inuyasha's backside. The hanyou yelped, jumping up and away from his violator, Kagome sprung to her feet and grabbed the scroll, she started running, but Inuyasha grabbed her and pulled her back, he held her body against his in case she tried to sit him again. Kagome used that to her advantage, and pulled Inuyasha to the ground, he landed on top of her, the scroll still in his hand, Kagome encompassed his torso in her legs and held him, "I do it! I'll say the "O" word!" she screamed. Both of them stopped, both breathing hard from the lack of air, both horribly disheveled. Inuyasha stared at the girl underneath him, a blush emanated from his cheeks; her face was so cute right now, so angry but in a way that just made him want to hug her, before he could stop himself the hanyou leaned forwards and kissed her.

Kagome froze as the sensation of Inuyasha's lips touching her own, her mind drifted back to the time in the mirror when she kissed him to save him from becoming a demon, his lips were so warm, they were still warm but there was a lot of terror running through her veins back then. Now, she could really enjoy it now. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see him release his grip on the scroll and it fall to the ground, one part of her mind was still focused on it, but the rest had long since forgotten it. Her legs released him at the same time her arms raised upwards and wrapped them around his neck.

Beside the two, the scroll lay, forgotten.

Kagome woke up an hour later underneath the tree she stopped under, night was upon them, she shifted from underneath the robe of the fire rat, her body was still completely naked. Opening her eyes, she gazed at the hanyou lying next to her, he was awake, propped up against the tree, naked as well in his hand was the scroll, though it was dark, Kagome could make out the tears that had fallen down his face, "Inuyasha!" she sat up, alarmed, the hanyou just laughed, "I never knew that that's how she felt…" he whispered. Kagome choked back tears herself, how could she forget to throw that stupid thing away?

Inuyasha rolled the scroll up and set it down next to him, "She was right, I did sense something different about her in the end, it was because she'd already given herself to him…"

Kagome shook her head, "Even if she wanted him, the fact of the matter is he tricked her, Inuyasha. Had she known it was more than a dream, she would have stopped herself,"

Inuyasha looked up at the sky, "No…Kikyo was stronger than that…I think somewhere in her mind she knew,"

"But she must have chosen you, that's what infuriated Naraku, that's why the betrayal happened,"

"Yeah…" was all he said before a long silence passed between them.

"I'm sorry,"

"Hm?" Kagome asked, Inuyasha layed back down, "I'm sorry for all the things I put you through, I was always neglecting your feelings in an attempt to chase the past, but now I realize that it was never meant to be. And I'm not willing to loose my future."

Kagome sat up and kissed him, Inuyasha layed her back down and as the two began to make love once again, a shrouded figure sighed.

Her heart weighed heavy with sorrow that she was relinquishing the one she loved, but her soul felt lighter that he now knew the truth, she loved him, she always would, but her heart could never belong to just the one and so she decided not to have either. Turning she looked back once more, "Take care of him, Kagome." She then pulled out a scroll similar to the one that laid next to the lovers.

'Lets see if Kagura find this one as easily as Kagome did,'

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Yeheheheeeheeeehee, whadja all think? R&R


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